This was a letter to an advice column I published a couple of years back. I’m reposting it here because I’m seeing more and more similar ones popping up. Yes, there is a way out.
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Dear Larry,
I have been on this forum and reading The Secret for about two months now. I feel that this is a great way to review the positive side of life and help manifest the positive aspects that are capable of coming to me.
However, I have continued to struggle with this process. I am in dire need of money to get myself out of debt and I have applied for countless jobs that will help with this process. I keep running into brick walls!
I started being more aggressive in my search and contacting the hiring managers, but I continue to get let down and not even an interview!
My debt is greater than I could imagine at this time. I have three children and a husband. I am responsible for paying all of the bills and my husband would probably divorce me if he knew how bad it really is.
I am creating negativity around myself, I know, but HOW do I get around this and just fix this all.
I was to the point last week of suicide, but I can tell you that I was immediately jerked back to reality when I stood back and thought of three children having to deal with the pain of a mother committing suicide and on top of that, the fact that I would never see them again in heaven. What a tragic loss! So, I went back and read The Secret again and reminded myself of the positive.
I no longer want to be scared of the mailbox and the telephone. I want to have my life back and get a job that I deserve. I have been trying so hard (maybe too hard) to manifest the positive things. I am at a loss right now because my fear I believe is blocking positive thoughts and vibes coming my way.
Please help me get through this and help me to understand what I need to do to get over this hurdle and start being normal again.
I am attempting to manifest enough money so that I would never have to work. How great is that? So, maybe I’m giving mixed signals to the Universe….
HELP!!!!
Denise
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Dear Denise,
There are lots of places to start, and here’s mine…
How much energy do have tied up in hiding your debt from your husband? If the shoe were on the other foot - if he was hiding debt from you (how do you know he isn’t?) - would you want to divorce him? Please consider how much resolution there will be of your situation after everything is out in the open. At that point he can make choices about what your relationship means to him and how he can help bring the family finances back in line.
My sense is you are running into walls because you’re projecting an energy of desperation when you apply for work. When I used to be the Director of Guidance at a high school and hired new counselors I remember one poor lady seeming to beg for work. Although she had the best qualifications on paper, we didn’t hire her for the position.
Maybe this will help, Denise…there are lots of ways to get back on your feet financially. I’m assuming you’re in the United States. There are lots of places to turn to for assistance. And there are lots of ways to get what you need inexpensively. What costs can you bring down in order to manage the budget? Cable TV? Anything else? Is someone going to remove you from your place of residence? Few people are inclined to evict a family of five. And if the worst happens and you are evicted, there are other options besides the five of you being on the street.
My point is there are lots of mechanisms built into our economic system to protect a vulnerable family like yours. You won’t starve and you won’t freeze.
That leaves you with a great opportunity to put things back together. That’s an emotional process that begins with looking at your current reality and imagining it just a little better. You can start if you like by appreciating the fact you have the ability to communicate with people around the world for free!
Yes Denise, you are sending mixed signals to the Universe. We don’t “attempt” to manifest. We allow the process to work by asking for it, then lining up our energy so that it corresponds with our desire. The Universe delivers the results to those who are ready to receive.
In other words, we become it.
Attempting to manifest enough money so that you never have to work again is too far outside your reality. I don’t think that’s what you want. I think you want to feel secure.
Be happy for where you are, then get a vision of things A LITTLE better than your current situation. Not millionaire better, just more comfort and security, including work you feel good about. Then when you get there, imagine things a bit better from that place. And so on, and so on.
What a great opportunity you have to change an emotional pattern that hasn’t served you! What a role model you’re going to be for your kids of a mom who was strong enough to pull through a difficult time. I see this very clearly, Denise.
Love,
Larry