I sat down at my laptop at 3:00 in the afternoon, ready to invite people to an event with an author friend I was hosting next week. Right away I knew something was amiss when I was taking to the log in page instead of right to my profile.
“Your account has been disabled.”
More than two years of content, 4100 friends, a number of active groups, and an important upcoming event ; all lost – possibly forever.
For a moment I had the usual reaction of someone who saw their body of work swept away. Disappointment, panic, anger.
I’ve also become good at stopping whatever downward emotional spiral I’m in, getting re-centered and thinking clearly.
The first thing I did was try and figure out why my account had been disabled. I’d picked up a few warnings here and there for sending out too many invitations and friend requests. But these were spread out over a long period of time. I had another person sending friend requests on my behalf, and I have a feeling this had something to do with my account being disabled.
Next step: I turned to Facebook’s appeal process. I sent a very polite note to the email address listed in hope of at least getting a response.
Then I went to the Help Center to see what was there. Turns out it was 85 notes from people who also had their accounts disabled. With one exception, the entries were pretty evenly split between begging for help to get their account turned back on, and anger at Facebook for disabling it. The words “hate” and other colorful four letter words were flying around.
There’s a good chance you’ve either had an account disabled somewhere, or will at some point. Facebook seems to have lowered the standard for disabling accounts. There wasn’t a specific person who did this. I ran afoul of an algorithm.
And many of you will too, or simply make a mistake. So pay attention! You may lose your list someday too!
I figured out pretty quickly what was going to happen with my account had very little to do with my own effort, and the best thing I could do is figure out what I REALLY want.
I use Facebook as a way to build relationships and partnerships, promote my coaching, training and publishing businesses, and spread good energy all over the place. In the process of that, I made some great friends.
What I REALLY want is to have that influence and those friendships. And there is nothing to stop that from happening all over again.
I’m still that wacky, bald, slightly dangerous juggling guy from before…just with fewer friends on my profile (for now) and an opportunity to start over.
Here are the lessons I want you to learn, whether you’ve been disabled or not. They apply to all of us.
1. Be grateful for Facebook and the other social networking sites. They can help you build a big business, lots of influence, or connect you with the right people to learn how to do one or both of these. Facebook helped me expand my coaching, training and publishing businesses.
2. Remember: at the end of the whole process, it’s the PEOPLE you meet, not the means you use to meet them. I built relationships with many of my 4100 friends, so when I ask for help in rebuilding my Facebook presence, it’s going to happen quickly. People like me, and I like them. Is your online presence likeable? If not, fix that by being interested in people and being the type of person others find interesting.
3. Take responsibility for knowing the rules, even if they change. Whether I knowingly did something wrong or not, my actions (or lack of attention to actions taken on my behalf) caused my account to be disabled. No one made a special set of rules for Larry Hochman, and no one is making a special set of rules for you.
4. Learn from your mistakes. Those poor people who spend their energy being angry at Facebook are missing out on the chance to learn. And the negative energy they spread makes them attractive only to others with the same negative energy. Is that who you want to be hanging with?
5. Never rely on only one way of growing your network. Facebook, Myspace, Linked-In, etc. can go down at any time. Give people lots of chances to find you, and have a back up plan for when things go wrong. Please look me up at http://NoMoreHoldingBack.ning.com for one of the other ways I build my online presence.
6. Don’t take any of this too seriously. Have a sense of humor when “tragedy” comes up. There isn’t anything on the Internet that cannot be fixed when it gets broken - or deleted. Emotional maturity is a very attractive trait!
Now I get to start all over again. Spread the word! Larry Hochman is back in town!
Your Pal,
Larry
Well stated darlin’… glad you’re back
I am sure your groups and that content still exists as well as your fan page… (I’ll check) anything you lost would be under your personal profile.