I wrote this about seven years ago.  Seems now is the perfect time to re-release it.  It’s a little nerdy, but stick with it, especially if you’re struggling with feeling good about yourself.  It was picked up by a few on line and off line publications, including a dating site in Australia.  I was a folk hero “Down Under” for about 72 hours. 

***   ***

Self-esteem flagging a little?

Life got you down?

Not firing on all your cylinders?

Well, I’ve got some news for you….

YOU ARE GREAT!!

Did you know that?

It’s true, and I’ll take it one step further…you’ve got love in your heart that’s just oozing out, ready to spill all over someone who’s ready to receive it.

Here’s the thing…we’ve all got a primary greatness in us. But a small percentage of us are interested in actually bringing out anything beyond our own self-interest.

Psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg identified six distinct stages of moral development in people. They can more easily be broken down into three: Pre-Conventional, Conventional, and Post-Conventional Morality.

Pre-Conventional Morality is defined by behavior that involves something not as well defined as playing by the rules of society. “What’s in it for me?” and “Do it but don’t get caught” kinds of behavior fall into this category.

Conventional Morality has to do with making decisions based on what the rules are. “Don’t speed because it’s against the law”, “Sit down because teacher said so” and “don’t cheat on your taxes or the IRS will get you” are examples of conventional morality in action.

Post-Conventional Morality is practiced by people who think outside the box, look to a source greater than themselves, or strive toward a higher ideal.

Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, and Ghandi practiced post-conventional morality.

So does the father who goes to work for a paycheck even though he is in end stage cancer.

So does the car salesperson who talks someone OUT of the car that’s beyond their budget, even though the sound system is awesome.

So does the home business builder who has their new person invest in tools for their business that they don’t make a profit on, rather than inventory that they will.

Kohlberg determined that someone’s orientation and decision making processes could be more or less placed in one of these categories, and that some people would operate in one category for one aspect of their life, another category in a different aspect.

So here’s why you are great…

Because I know that at least one point in your life, YOU made a decision based on what was the right thing to do, even if it was against the rules set up by less informed people.

And if you’re interested enough in self-development to read this blog post, you’re probably operating on that plane right now (or at least moving in that direction.)

Yeah, you may make mistakes.

But at your core, you are GREAT!!!!!

Now go out there and share your greatness with the rest of the world.

***   ***

In FAREWELL TO FEAR class, we just finished talking about the importance of feeling good. And we gave some techniques to feel good (or at least better) no matter what’s going on in the outside world.

Pretty cool. 

Whatever you’re doing, make sure you understand this…

Whatever drama you’ve got going on right now, a strong, gorgeous person is waiting to come out and play.

And we’ll be right there with you when you’re ready.

You’re Ol’ Buddy Pal,
Larry

Technorati Tags: Australia, confidence, greatness, Larry Hochman, Law of attraction, overcoming fear, self esteem

Or should I say, creating a sufficient container to receive.

I’m walking back toward the car at the shopping center on a Saturday afternoon, and my eyes go right to Amanda.  It’s one of those cool things…she was one of my high school students back in the 1990’s.  I see her on Facebook from time to time…still with those dark intelligent eyes.

Before I get a chance to ask her how things are going, she mentions the article I put out: Reflections on a Missing Gall Bladder. I’m feeling pretty good about that one.  I haven’t spoken with Amanda in years, yet there she is, taking in my notes and other content closely enough so that she can debate me in the parking lot about whether the guy with the missing gall bladder is really too sick and/or poor to be part of FAREWELL TO FEAR, or if he’s just trying to invent a reason to sit the class out.

Five percent of me is enjoying the ego food…having people stop me in shopping centers to talk about my writing and training.

Ninety-five percent is overjoyed that I’ve got people thinking and contemplating how to make their world better: that I’ve injected fun, hope and optimism and into their daily lives.

And then she asks me about the class itself.  I tell her the first class was last Wednesday and it’s fun having several Europeans being part of it, with my co-teacher being in New Jersey.

This takes her aback.  She looks at me quizically for a second, then asks…

“It’s by phone then, right?”

I answer carefully, to hide my momentary disappointment.  “Yes, it’s by phone.”

***   ***

The book I’m reading at the moment is Wealth 101, by John-Roger and Peter McWilliams.  It’s from 1992, so it has no mention of the Internet.  It also doesn’t use the words Law of Attraction, though it has L.O.A. concepts in each chapter.

And one of the chapter is called Creating A Container To Receive.

We’re all brilliant.  We all have the capacity to shine our light and accomplish amazing things.  Some have more skills than others, and some are better at teaching it.  I’m a really good teacher of overcoming fear.  So is my partner, Debbie.

And I’m a really good student.  Which is good, because Amanda gave me a great lesson about creating a better container.

All of the stuff I put out to promote the class - poignant stories, inspiring messages, profound calls to action - and Amanda (who read enough to debate me about the missing gall bladder guy) didn’t even know the class was done by phone.

I laughed.  And I felt gratitude for the Universe telling me to create a better container.

***   ***

In this age of information overload, it’s important to be clear.  You need a strong, compelling message to grab people’s attention.

AND… you have to be really good at telling them what to do next.

If Amanda dug the story, but didn’t know the class was happening by phone, Larry didn’t do a good enough job letting people know how to become part of it.

How many other Amandas lost out on the chance to have their lives moved from fear to fun, because they didn’t know what their next step was?

Be strong with your message.

Be good at telling the story.

Be good at living the lessons so you come from a place of integrity.

Then think like the reader.  Make sure they know what to do next.

Give them enough information to take the next step.

Be clear.

Create that container.  Make it wide, strong and a fun place to be inside!

Your Pal,
Larry

So we understand each other: Yes, the class has started.  And yes, there will be a FAREWELL TO FEAR multimedia pack available soon after it’s over.  Audio, video and a workbook. CLICK HERE and register for the free FAREWELL TO FEAR mini-course.  Get updated information, plus stuff you can start using right now to move from being afraid to being alive!

Technorati Tags: capturing prospects, closing sales, Law of attraction, making more money, overcoming fear

In ten years in the coaching industry, I’ve seen every excuse known to humanity for people not following through on their desire to grow. People back out of one on one coaching.

Or they get cold feet on classes.

Or they get buyer’s remorse on ordering an audio series or book.

It’s the way it is. It’s the way it always will be.

I was talking with Debbie about this. Someone we know - a good, gentle beautiful soul who is still a slave to his own insecurities - just backed out of enrolling in FAREWELL TO FEAR.

No surprise…we both saw it coming a mile away. We were both excited for the possibility of him moving into the next phase of his life….of letting go of all the hurt from the past, embracing the present and building the future.

And we knew the longer he waited, the louder his fear would shout down his hope.

But here’s one we hadn’t heard before…. he had to back out because he just had his gall bladder removed.

Hmmm….

OK, fair enough. Never mind that the course doesn’t start for another two and a half weeks, or that it’s by telephone.

It was the money. Isn’t it always???

See…insurance only covered part of the surgery. He had to pay the rest out of pocket. It ate up all his discretionary income. Nothing left to step out and step up.

(Although plenty left for cigarettes and cable TV.)

What do you think? Is it the body telling the brain it’s so afraid of change that it manifests a gall bladder attack?

Is it an out and out lie? Do we ask to see the scar from the operation?

Is the money really there and he just changed his mind?

Does it matter?

No, not really.

Because if someone is ready to make a change in their life - to move in bravery, strength and freedom, ain’t nothin’ gonna stop them. They’ll find a way, or (as in the case of Debbie), the way will find them.

And by the way…NO ONE gets to be smug or superior about this. Because there was a time when YOU made excuses for not moving forward. So did Debbie and Larry. So did all of us.

At some point we just got sick and tired of living scared and playing small. Our happiness became more important to us than maintaining our excuses.

We let go of the fear.

And a way opened up. It always does. The money shows up. The time shows up. The support shows up.

Do you know how freakin’ GOOD it feels to know the Universe is on your side? That you can take a risk and you’ll be OK?

We do. We do it all the time. And God has our back. Always. Even when we fall, the landing is soft.

And we take the lessons into the next stage and make something REALLY good happen.

That’s why we want you to be with us, and love and support you unconditionally, even when your gall bladder goes missing (wink).

Because we KNOW that when you make the commitment to eliminating the disease of constant fear from your life….

….it’s all there. All the success, wealth, health, love, smiles, cotton candy and vacations. It’s right there waiting for you.

And we KNOW we have the path for you to follow…if you’re ready to walk it.

With us. And the other brave souls who walk it.

Guiding you. Loving you. Showing you the YOU that’s on the other side of that fear.

*****

If you’re not on the free FAREWELL TO FEAR mini-course, we’d love to show you what’s possible.

If you’re ready to play BIG and have fun…even through a little anxiety, email Debbie at CelebratingLife@verizon.net. Get the details.

You know what happens when you move on faith and exchange that energy.

Love,
Larry
FAREWELL TO FEAR

P.S. Yeah, I’m pouring it on thick. Some of you cussed at me and left the group. It’s kinda fun to move past the FEAR of rejection, because you know how strong and good you are. It’s a great feeling…give it a try!!! (wink)

Technorati Tags: ain't nothin' gonna stop them. They'll find a way, and love and support you unconditionally, because you know how strong and good you are. It's a gr, cotton candy and vacations. It's right there waiting fo, email Debbie at CelebratingLife@verizon.net. Get the de, embracing the present and building the future. And we , even when your gall bladder goes missing (wink). Becau, fair enough. Never mind that the course doesn't start f, gentle beautiful soul who is still a slave to his own i, health, I'm pouring it on thick. Some of you cussed at me and l, I've seen every excuse known to humanity for people not, In ten years in the coaching industry, Larry Hochman http://NoMoreHoldingBack.com/farewelltofe, love, not really. Because if someone is ready to make a chan, or (as in the case of Debbie), or that it's by telephone. It was the money. Isn't it , smiles, strength and freedom, the landing is soft. And we take the lessons into the , the louder his fear would shout down his hope. But her, the way will find them. And by the way...NO ONE gets t, we'd love to show you what's possible. http://NoMoreHol, wealth

This was great to receive.  From 2005-2007 I wrote a column for RateMyTeachers.com as “The Guidance Guy.”  One of the young people who wrote me then actually tracked me down and asked my advice as a college student.  Check this out…you might be finding yourself in a similar situation!

***   ***

Dear Guidance Guy,

I’ve emailed you before, and your advice has always been awesome. I also get your monthly emails and newsletters, they have been very helpful to me. But now, I’m at a time in my life where I need to make some serious choices and the outlooks for either are grim.

My mother has been suffering greatly as a result of the economy, she works in the housing market and as I’m sure you can imagine, business has not been good. After owning her own business for over 10 years she is starting to look for another job. She’s angry and miserable and encouraging me to change my plans for the future. I am a full time freshman at a local university, commuting from over 45 minutes away to save money. The only thing that has resulted in is exhaustion for me and a bumpy relationship between my mother and me.

Other than the commute and my home life, things have been good. My grades are high and I recently joined a sorority which has become such a huge part of my life and a great source of joy for me, despite the hard times. I have even been considering taking out a loan so I can live in the house to form a closer bond with my sisters and be closer to my school.

This morning my mom came to my sisters (the real ones) and I to “have a real conversation” about the state of the economy. As of now she is urging me to abandon my ambitions of getting a master’s degree in teaching to instead join the army or the air force as a nurse or to just do a 2 year nursing program. I cannot think of a career path that is any less in tune with my personality and talents, except maybe engineer or physicist.  I don’t feel that nursing would fulfill my personal needs for my career. And I am scared that if I abandon my chance to get my degree in what I want  now, then that chance will be gone forever.

In addition, my school does not have a nursing program, which would mean that I would not only have to change schools, but leave behind the sisters of my sorority that have made me so happy these last few months. When I express these sentiments to my mother, she throws her hands up in the air, and says “Fine, don’t scream at me 10 years from now when you have to keep living here to pay off your student loans.”

She insists that I am being bratty and that I should think about my future instead of getting “the college experience” and asks me if my experience will be “worth it all when I can’t buy a house.” She tells me that if I were to become an RN that I could go anywhere I wanted and have a starting salary of $60,000.  I understand her concern for me in this economy but is it really worth a life in a career that I don’t want? I remember the tune she sang being much different when I was little, she would say “do a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day.”

In short, I guess I am asking if I should do as she says and give up on my dreams of being a teacher or if I should continue the path I’m on and hope for the best? I am certainly scared of the job outlook for when I graduate but I am more scared of an unfulfilled life of regret and looking back thinking, could’ve, would’ve, should’ve. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Choices

***   ***

Dear Choices,

I’m glad you wrote this letter.  Let’s take the obvious parts first.  Yes, there are jobs for medical professionals, especially nurses.  Many of them love what they do and have a lifestyle - complete with good pay - they love.  There are also burned out, unhappy, unhealthy nurses all over the place.  You can probably think of several right now.  Is that really who you want to be?

As for education, depending on what kind of teaching you plan to go into and where you’re willing to live, there are also plenty of opportunities.  Might there be competition for jobs?  Sure.  But if you have a real PASSION for what you do, it’s still possible to work anywhere, in any kind of teaching.  In the past, when I hired teachers for a school I looked for people with a genuine love for what they did.  It wasn’t hard to spot, and I’m sure you have it.

So, yes it is possible to work in education, and build a great life for yourself.

Now, let’s take the important parts….

I’m sure you know the answers to these questions and wanted confirmation.  It’s great when we’re in an environment that validates what we know and gives us courage to move into it.  That’s why you love your sorority sisters, and that’s why folks are so desperate to find an evironment that inspires them.

With respect, your mother hasn’t been suffering greatly as the result of the economy.  She’s been suffering as the result of the way she thinks about the economy and the choices she’s made.  Yeah, it’s a harsh thing to read, but when you consider there are other people who have prospered in this same economy (Debbie and I, to name two), it becomes too simplistic to say it’s the economy that causes people to suffer.

Once you find a passion - something you love - and you have the commitment to follow where the path to it leads, the success comes…it has to.  On the other hand if you follow a career that is uninspiring, whatever money you make won’t buy the fulfillment.  You’ll just have the proverbial “golden handcuffs.”

Do what you love, Choices.  And be willing to do it in ways that are different.  It is a changing global marketplace and education isn’t just the brick and mortar schoolhouse anymore.  You may wind up in a whole different environment.  But what you love to do - reach, teach and inspire young people - will never go out of style.

Your Pal,
Larry
(A.K.A. “The Guidance Guy)

Technorati Tags: Habits, Larry Hochman, Law of attraction

Technorati Tags: Florida, Larry Hochman, Law of attraction

Written last February.  Check this out if you’re interested in a way to move past feeling sorry for yourself.

***   ***

Last night in Boca Raton, Florida. We were down here for my father’s 70th birthday party (which didn’t happen because of my mom’s colitis, which landed her in the hospital - she’s OK). There were also a lot of great things that happened during the four days we were here, and I want to share one of them here.

Boca is an interesting town. A lot of affluence. A lot of really nice gated communities, a lot of elite cars, a lot of senior citizens, a lot of Jewish people (as measured by the number of synagouges we saw while driving).

And a fair amount of poverty too. Many street corners had people holding up cardboard signs asking for help and donations.

And of course a lot of people working in the service industries that cater to the rich. Desk clerks, wait staff, cleaners, custodians everywhere!

Driving back from visiting cousins I hadn’t seen in years, I saw what can only be described as a thing of beauty. A tree lined sidewalk on State Route 7. A man and a woman, both Asian, both wearing fancy waitstaff uniforms. Both riding bicycles. The man looked middle aged. I’m assuming either to or from work.

My guess: it’s the American dream. Two folks who left wherever they came from to participate in the Land of Opportunity.

I’m going to fill in the blanks from my imagination, and a bit from past experience. When I was 16 I did exactly what those two did. I worked in a catering hall, with my fancy uniform. I rode my bike to and from work, since I hadn’t gotten my drivers license yet. Riding home in the dark, four miles each way, often around 1 in the morning after working a double shift.

Not enjoying it very much, feeling taken advantage of in one respect by folks who should have treated their wait staff better.

But grateful for the money that was coming in. It was about $25 per eight or nine hours, after taxes. Money in my hand. Didn’t even have to cash a check! It was more than I ever had before, and for nearly a year I was happy to endure the aching feet and back, burnt fingers and snide comments of older workers.

And I’m still grateful for the experience. Opportunity. Perspective. Appreciation.

Lessons to be applied to whatever comes next.

And I’m taking my experience and magnifying it by a thousand, and putting it into that Asian couple on their bikes. Surrounded by BMW’s and Mercedes and personal and financial security.

And they are grateful for the experience. Opportunity. Perspective. Appreciation.

Lessons to be applied to whatever comes next.

What about you? What are you doing that feels less than you think you’re SUPPOSED to be doing? Does it make you feel small, insignificant, disappointed, angry?

Or are you grateful for the experience? Opportunity. Perspective. Appreciation.

Lessons to be applied to whatever comes next.

Have a miraculous weekend,
Larry
http://NoMoreHoldingBack.com

Technorati Tags: American Dream, Asian, Bike, Boca Raton, Florida, Jewish, Mercedes

OK, I’m going to put it out there…

There have been a gazillion things written about money, and what kind of relationships we have with it, and how it’s the root of all evil, and how love of it is the root of all evil..etc., etc., etc..

Well here’s one more…

I put out a statement a few days ago, about how it’s perfectly OK to expect an exchange of energy when interacting with those around us…how the cycle is complete when we not only give freely, but receive freely as well.

It drew responses from folks.  Good people.  Loving, kind generous people who pointed out that we don’t always have to get back.

True…it doesn’t always have to be.

But here’s the thing…our entire Universe is set up on the principle of ENERGY EXCHANGE.  It’s everywhere. Rain doesn’t come from the sky without water being fed from the ground by condensation. Electricity doesn’t conduct through wires or the air without a current returning it.  We don’t even breathe in without the necessity of breathing out.

And we sure as heck don’t produce without the necessity to receive.

We need to be clear.  Money is the way we’ve decided to set our value for the goods, services, ideas and energy we bring. We don’t get paid in love. And we don’t pay our bills in good wishes.

“I love you.  I bless you.  I send you the energy of love, wholeness, wellness and healing….

Now will you please give me a ride on the bus?

Will you please let me have that Blackberry?

Will you please forgive this month’s mortgage payment?

Will you please pay my kid’s college tuition?”

You get the idea.

Money is the symbol we’ve chosen to make things go.  It’s the symbol of energy, of productivity, of love.

Money will stay in your wallet or in your bank account long after the warm hug of gratitude or smile of appreciation is gone.

Good energy and strong intention doesn’t manifest a seat on a plane to Aruba.  Money does.

But good energy and strong intention does manifest money, which buys a seat on a plane to Aruba…and postcards for your friends who didn’t go with you. 

And of course like anything else money can be twisted, manipulated, made to hide our hurts or project our anger.  I recently had an encounter with a gentleman who is rich in money and poor in spirit.  He used his money in a way to belittle those who had less than he did.

But that’s not about money.  The same thing can be done with anything: relationships, sexuality, athletic ability, the list goes on.

My point (and it’s a pretty simple one): if you shy away from the idea of exchanging money for energy -  either as a giver or receiver - take a long look at your relationship with money, and with the idea of prosperity, and your readiness to receive.

Giving is wonderful.  You can make someone feel wonderful by allowing them to give to you!

Three suggested books…

The Trick To Money Is Having Some, by Stuart Wilde.  The best book on the dynamics of receiving I’ve ever read.

Sex, Money, Kiss, by Gene Simmons. Bawdy, ballsy and full of truth and fun.

How To Juggle (and Change Your Life Forever), by Larry Hochman. I wrote it as a product of my energy and experience. And it’s good enough for you to exchange your money for it. http://sourceofgoodstuff.com/larrys-stuff.html

Now…go out and give…and receive!!!

Your Pal,
Larry
http://NoMoreHoldingBack.com

P.S. I love to give…and to receive!  The value I bring to the world around me is such that I command money for it…a lot of it!  Are you bringing money into your experience?  You probably have a lot of value to bring to those around you.  The only thing from stopping its flow it is knowing how worthy you are of receiving it.

P.P.S.  Don’t worry about how much money you have or don’t have at the moment.  Money measures your value to the marketplace…not your worthiness as a person.

P.P.S. The amount of money you have now is a measure of the thoughts, feelings and actions you’ve taken in the past.  Change those around now, and practice them consistently.  Watch what shows up 30 to 90 days from now!  Right Debb??? 

P.P.P.S. It really really really doesn’t matter how much you have right now!  I have more money than I’ve ever had before right now, and not nearly as much as I’m going to have in 90 days (wink).

P.P.P.P.S.  Yes, there are certainly ways to take in money that violate universal principles of good energy exchange.  Stealing, manipulation, dishonesty…all these will bring money to you in the short term.  You won’t have the consciousness to keep it, or enjoy it.

Technorati Tags: Christmas, giving, Law of attraction, money

Jim Rohn died today.  I found out about it on Facebook. Thank you Tom Doherty for the information.

If you aren’t in network marketing or some other kind of entrepreneurial business, there’s a good chance you don’t know who he is.  On the other hand, if you study anything by Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Les Brown, or any of the better known personal development superstars, you’re familiar with Jim’s work.  That’s because each of them credit Jim Rohn with being one of their major influences.

He’s one of mine too.  In 1999 my wife “dragged” me to my first multilevel marketing opportunity meeting.  I was a high school guidance counselor, in lock step with the employee mentality.  A world of abundance, freedom and personal accountability opened up to me, in ways a masters degree in counseling never opened.

And Jim Rohn was there.  Not in body.  But the concepts were all his.  The company was founded around principles Jim developed in the middle part of the 20th century.

“Profits are better than wages.”

“The pain of discipline weighs ounces.  The pain of regret weighs tons.”

“Don’t ask for things to get easier.  Ask for you to get better.”

“Success isn’t something you pursue.  Success is something you attract by the person you become.”

All Jim Rohn quotes.

Jim set the standard for the kind of presence I strove to become.  The kind of educator, the kind of marketer, the kind of entrepreneur, the kind of person I aspire to.

Jim made me a believer.  Not in the home business industry, or even the personal development industry.  He made me a believer in myself.  And in his simple, right down to business way, in my ability to enter a world I thought wasn’t mine to enter.

One of my favorite pictures is my two daughters, ages eight and five with Mr. Rohn.  He appeared at a training in New York where Diane and I attended.  Jill, our older one made it a point to tell him she does her homework before watching TV…something she learned from him.

As Jim walked away I heard him tell his assistant, “that made the whole trip worthwhile.”

We are saddened at his passing.  So are a whole bunch of others.  But the legacy of Jim Rohn lives on and on.

Check out http://tribute.jimrohn.com/.  It’s all right there.  Jim’s message of joy, character and abundance will outlive him.  And each of us gets to take it to the next generation…by living it ourselves.

In Appreication,
Larry

Technorati Tags: Jim Rohn, Nttwork Marketing, Obituary

I heard my daughter Jillian call out “Oh My God!” as many 16 year olds are prone to do…especially when it’s not about anything particularly important.

Maybe I was bored that particular moment, or maybe she said it with more drama than usual. I was curious as to what got her so exicted.

So I asked, “What are you ‘Oh My Godding’ about?’

I don’t think I ever got the answer to my question. But when the expression left my lips it brought back an earlier time. Years back I’d tell Jill to be careful - pretty frequently.

One day she came out with “I am Be Carefuling, Daddy!” One of the funnier moments I remember as a parent.

I love how kids create their own vocabulary from the things they hear around htem. Nouns become verbs. Verbs become nouns. Whole expressions become verbs. And of course Intials become words. OMG, isn’t that true! ROFL.

It’s mostly all in good fun, but isn’t it amazing how the words you use shape your own experience? If you use words like can’t, poor, hate, and stupid enough, guess what shows up in your experience?

Same is true for words like possible, abundant, appreciate, grateful and love.

Of course sometimes it’s more complicated that that. Different factors contribute to what manifests.

And sometimes it’s as simple as the words you use setting the table for what flows into your experience.
Mabye you want to consider upgrading the language you use - on others and yourself?

Maybe you want to hang around others who you use the words you’d llike to be the dominant ones in your vocabulary?

Maybe you want to find the golden nugget in every moment…the ones that are obviously good.

And the ones that seem crappy but are priceless growth opportunities.

And the ones that don’t seem to carry much emotion either way, which are the perfect ones to appreciate being alive and full of infinite possibilities.

Oh My God!  What a beautiful reality we co-create!

Peace, Prosperity and Dynamic Creation!
Larry

Technorati Tags: Language, Larry Hochman, Law of attraction, OMG, ROFL, Teenage Daughter